Battling Depression

By Sig Nordal, Jr. 

Every entrepreneur and every businessman that is involved with a complicated, time-sensitive project or mission knows that the stress associated with such undertakings can be enormous. Not only does the success or failure of a given project make or break the entrepreneur himself, but it can also destroy many people around him. Many entrepreneurs and successful business people have dealt with depression and other issues caused by stress, uncertainty, loneliness, hopelessness and similar emotions in their lives.

Depression is a serious issue - very serious. The death of Robin Williams has brought the issue of depression to the forefront, and it was unfortunate that depression is getting this attention due to Williams' unfortunate and untimely death. However, there are many business people and leaders that deal with emotional issues as the pressures at the time can be absolutely overwhelming.

Today, people try to reduce the stress and associated damage by living a healthier lifestyle, but nevertheless the core issues that many carry through their lives are never appropriately dealt with. Many people today have yet to deal with devastating upbringings, difficulties in their personal lives and all the while expected to perform at their best.

Being a leader, being an actor, being in the limelight is not an easy spot to be in, although many want to be there, but I wonder if those actually have the desire to reach the top have mentally prepared themselves for the journey - for when you stand at the top of the mountain, you are alone, completely alone. Depression is a fickle beast – it does not focus upon wealth or success and is unpredictable in whom it decides to attack.

In order to attempt to recover from depression one must take very small steps – indeed, the things that one is advised to do appear hard in themselves (such as going for a walk or spending time with friends). Even thinking about doing such things can be exhausting in itself. Depression cannot be resolved by sheer willpower as it has an annoying tendency to drain you of drive, hope and energy but you do have some control which means that through making positive choices recovery is difficult but not impossible.

You may have limited energy but try to maybe take a short walk around the block. Force yourself to get up, get dressed and just go or pick up the phone and make a call to a friend or loved one. Take it one day at a time. Small accomplishments will gradually build up and, although they seem to be minimal, they will gradually enable you to be more positive at the end of each day. Remember that the more effort you put into recovery the greater the results will be.

When someone feels depressed it can be difficult to reach out. On one hand, your inner self knows that reaching out for support is a positive thing in order to get matters into perspective and yet you find that when you do reach out you are persistently making excuses as to why you cannot follow the advice being given to you. As a result you feel that every time you say anything you are wailing about your misery and think that those around you must be sick and tired of having you moaning. In many cases this is of course true! Rather than constantly reaching out and then saying 'oh, I can't do that because...' say 'well, that idea is not really feasible but I could try a version of what you are suggesting.' Such a response makes you feel less negative and your listener to feel that you are trying as hard as you can to overcome certain issues and make steps forward.

Believe it or not, friends and family actually do want to help you so isolating yourself is not going to aid your recovery and reaching out is neither going to be a sign of weakness nor are you going to become a burden. Turn to your trusted family and friends and share what you are going through or alternatively join a support group for depression. Support groups can be very useful as you hear what other people were or are facing that brought them to the same place. When people 'share' their stories avoid focussing on the differences (as all stories will have arisen from a huge range of reasons) but concentrate on the similarities in how they feel inside. It could be the intense loneliness even when around other people, it could be a case of where you just have such inertia that you cannot get motivated to do anything at all and just want to go to sleep.

Of course, despite saying willpower cannot in itself overcome depression there is a need to literally force yourself into doing something else the feeling of failure is heightened when one gives up before even trying. Being with friends or around people is key to battling the isolation involved with depression – however, what if you do not have many (or any) friends? Many of us only actually have work colleagues with whom we may well 'get along' with but would be fearful of expressing personal issues to. There are on-line support groups that are very useful for those who are not in a position to speak to those they know in 'real life.' These groups hold a variety of people so, of course, as in 'real life' make sure you are on your guard regarding anything that could identify you or your specific whereabouts – sadly, there are unscrupulous people everywhere so use your common sense.

If you are up to doing so, see if you can join a club for something that interests you – you do not have to be the life and soul of the group as the focus is mainly upon the activity involved be it exercise, art, books or cookery. Another good idea is to volunteer in a local charity shop – not only are you giving your time for the benefit of others but you are meeting different people, sorting through practical (and sometimes bizarre!) goods and, once more, is a way of reducing your isolation. Of course, if there is the availability of a counsellor or member of the clergy to confide in then embrace the opportunity – there is nothing weak about asking for professional help if you feel you cannot cope by yourself or if the depression is getting worse.

Most importantly you need to try and challenge your negative thinking. Not as easy as it sounds. The way you view yourself, the way you perceive other people view you, the various situations you encounter often make you automatically put a negative spin on things. It is almost impossible (even when not depressed) to have happy thoughts about everything. The key is to have balanced thoughts to replace the negative ones. Remember that no-one is perfect so why are you beating yourself up about not having perhaps achieved the ridiculously high standards you had intended? Deal with problems as challenges and do your best in any given circumstance. Many of us are actually good listeners and if we were hearing what we are thinking about ourselves by someone else we would be giving positive encouragement about them. You know yourself better than anybody so be your own best friend – would a best friend be permanently putting you down and saying you were useless?

Try to adopt a healthier living pattern. Eat healthier foods, get enough sleep, exercise and commune with nature thus giving you both fresh air and relaxation from stress. Many people go from one extreme to the other with depression. With food we can binge-eat through boredom or starve ourselves as we have little appetite. Indeed, you will recognise that already with a variety of things if you are depressed. Often excessive exercise, obsession with weight, spending hours on folding clean laundry, spending hours putting things in order, superstitious counting of how many times to check the door is shut properly are all signs of finding things we can control when we feel out of control with our mental health. Regular and sensible exercise decreases lethargy and is a natural anti-depressant as it releases endorphins that actually make you feel better so give it a go! Park your car further away from your destination, get off the bus one or two stops earlier and use the stairs rather than the elevator.

Stress can be one of the causes of depression or as a result of it. Try to identify the things that make you stressed be it relationships, work overload, health problems or just taking on too much. Once you have identified the key things that make you stressed (which in turn worsen depression) do your best to minimise or avoid them. Think of all the things you used to enjoy and still enjoy and put them in a mental 'self help toolbox.' It could be watching a funny or action-packed movie, it could be strolling through the park or it could be listening to music. Try to incorporate something you enjoy into each day even if you are actually feeling okay – the more you make time for yourself by doing a pleasurable thing the greater your resilience to depression will be. Above all, be determined that you will win the battle against depression. It is an unwelcome visitor and it's time it shut the door from the other side and disappeared into the darkness from whence it came.